Shinryuu-Uroborus

First off... my very long absence.

I think I've gotten a little burnt out from MMX and didn't realize it. I finished a long running fic last year. It had been ongoing for like 5-6 years. I'm proud of myself for having been able to hold on to that commitment. It hadn't been easy, but I made it.

And uh, there was recoil from that. I had to take a break from MMX for a long time. So I ended up playing an online game.

Well... I also found out that I can be quite hardcore. Sometimes to my detriment. That game took a lot of my time. It was fun, but recently I realized that it was just an endless grind. If you don't log in every day and do this and that a few times a week, you miss out. And the cycle repeats.

You know what else is an endless grind? Real life. Wake up, work/school, housework, spare time, repeat. Go to work on time, catch the train, catch the bus, do laundry every week, clean the house, get groceries... I don't want yet another daily and weekly grind in gaming.

And you know the thing with online games? Someday the servers will be shut down forever. Everything you worked hard to get, everything you paid money to obtain... they disappear too when it happens.

I'm part of the generation where we can pick up and put down a game and return to it whenever we want, and not miss out on anything no matter how long we leave. And of course, as long as we have the hardware or emulator, we can always come back to those games. Those kinds of games are the ones I truly like.

So the current generation of games that practically demand us to log in every day and do all the events to get all the rewards and keep up with the changes the game goes through (which is of course to make players keep spending) until it inevitably shuts down is not for me.

In the end, I let that game go.

All that time and energy was too much to keep on spending for fictional characters that aren't mine. It kept me going, but now its purpose is over.

No, that game is not X DiVE. I've tried it, and dropped it way before that other game. It barely had dialogues for the obtainable characters. Just fighting. It felt soulless. Anyways.

After dropping that game, I discovered that I have a lot more things to do. But that's another topic. There's still more in the absence issue.

I've been a working adult for 5-6 years. And I've been living independently for almost 3 years now. It hasn't been easy. Years of refusing to exercise regularly has shaped me into a delicate feather. I get tired easily. Unfortunately.

And going on a drawing hiatus for like 2 years plus impacted my hand a little. My fingers hurt a little when drawing. But I think it's like my feet hurting when commuting normally after one year of working from home/barely any walking. It got weaker from not being used for an extended period. I'll be fine.

But anyways, the things to do that I can do and want to do. Transitory is one of them. I still love that concept. There will be a few minor revisions. Because it first started years ago. And time passed and things happened. I'm not the same person as I was before, nor am I the same artist as I was before.

Fortunately, I still remember the core details. I took notes and that was what prevented me from losing everything. My memory is not the best, especially after a lot of time has passed and a lot of things (work, health, housework, other real life stuff) take up more of my mental space.

I'm going to examine the last iteration of Transitory and see what needs to be changed. Outdated tropes and whatnot, especially. Or fixations I've moved on from.

Anyways, in summary... I had taken a long break from MMX. Like a 2 year break. But as I think I've said before, it's my home fandom and I think I'm gonna s here. The canon story is dead to my advantage, cos for now at least, I can write and expand/reinterpret canon all I want. Because they're not going to overlay it anytime soon (no, I don't count X DiVE). Ahah.

It's gonna be a slow slow thing though. I want to take it easy in my personal life. Work and housework is hectic enough as it is. I can't promise anything. Life isn't what it was when I was a student. I'll always be here for the foreseeable future either way.

I mean, I know I've been posting updates more than artwork these days. But well, assurances that I'm still here, alive, and kicking is better than nothing.

Last but not least, thanks so much for everyone who faved and commented on my works as well as people who decided to watch me. It feels good to know that the seeds I sowed long ago haven't been forgotten. On Twitter, so many things get forgotten in the blink of an eye. But here, it feels like I have an actual legacy. That the good things I made in the past still exist and have meaning.

So, my agenda for now:

- put outdated ideas/ideas that are no longer relevant, concepts I've decided that I don't want to display anymore in storage (don't worry, they're axed stuff)

- revise a few concepts, mostly Firebird's Firebird Armour, Whitewater's initial form before his humanoid body, Henrietta, and possibly Emmanuelle. Probably change up Al's eye colour too.

- continue the prose form of Transitory's prequel (Elegy of Falling Snow, another X7 rewrite) on FFN whenever I can

- brush up on the latter half of Transitory, particularly the final arc involving Al and possibly Axl

Of course this is all subject to change, but this is what I have for now.

For years, sitting a lot for school, work, and art tightened my muscles. It's something that accumulated without me knowing.

This week and last week (and later next week) I went to a physio clinic and got a massage for my lower backache. It's not a massage for comfort like in spa places, but it was to loosen up my overly tight muscles. It hurt a lot. It was necessary though.

After that I was taught the proper posture for sitting in front of the computer (feet has to touch the ground, sit straight with lower back support, elbows and knees at 90 degrees), exercises to do regularly, and to not stay in the same position for 1 hour.

I'm still 25-26 so fortunately I can still change my lifestyle to prevent things from getting worse in my older years.

Anyways, my health problems is part of why my art is at a standstill. But hopefully I'll get better soon. I want to work on Transitory more. I really do.

As for you who are reading this, make sure you sit and move around properly so you don't have to suffer like me now.

I'm already writing Transitory's X7 in FFN. I'll upload it to dA at some point (since most of my audience is here), when I have more chapters done.

It's called Elegy of Falling Snow.

Besides writing, I'm also planning to draw and design my for my MMX timelines. I'm contemplating redesigning Firebird's Overkill armour, or giving it a complete overhaul. We'll see though.

Have I made an infographic detailing the differences between my Axls yet? Maybe I will at some point.

Anyways, while I was slogging through my 5 year old longfic, I went to other fandoms for a refresher. But in the end, MMX will always be my home. It's the fandom that makes me the happiest.

- I'm stuck in a not-so-good job that cuts my performance bonuses for every sick day. Yes, this policy is in place during the pandemic. It was established last December and is still going despite complaints from all teams. Currently looking for a new one while doing what I can to keep myself sane.

- I am taking a break from the Megaman fandom, mostly because I finished a 5 year old longfic on Feb 18 2021. From 16 Nov 2015 until now, that fic had been a long, long WIP that always stayed in the back of my mind.

Now that it's been finished, I'm... taking a breather in general. But I haven't forgotten my ongoing stories. And I feel that Megaman X will always be my home. It's the last peaceful fandom I've been in. Modern fandoms are so chaotic and discordant these days,,, but here in dA, in the Megaman fandom, I can always create content peacefully.

- I check my notifications. I see all of you. Thanks so much for being here. The least I can do is to let you know that I'm still here. Just... suffering. But still holding on.

A lot has happened since I was last here, and I've improved in my fic writing as well. I used to be more heavily leaning towards drawing. But after a brief stay in another fandom, my writing skills improved quite significantly.

Now, I want to bring those skills to my story in the MMX fandom, which you all know as Transitory. Nothing is concrete yet, but I plan to write Transitory as a full on fic. I feel that I can draw scenes better when they're actually written or planned out. And these days, I find writing it out much better than planning it out.

So... here's my question to you guys.

If I do write Transitory, which would you choose?

1. I write it in AO3/Archive Of Our Own and keep deviantART solely for pictures

2. Both fic and pic will be present in dA (fic will also be uploaded in AO3 though!)

Basically, the question is if I should include the fics on dA (2) or if my dA will just be for pictures (1). you may picc. hee

This is more of a solicitation for suggestions than an actual poll, because I want to know what I should do and why. I'm torn. This is my story, yes. But whether it's easily/conveniently/comfortably accessible is important for both me and the audience. hue

If you don't remember Transitory much, here's the synopsis:

After Axl joined the Hunters post-X7, he didn't work with X and Zero straight away. Like every new joiners in any company, Axl goes through a probationary period where they are mentored by one or more seniors. As Axl is a special case (read: a former enemy), he was assigned to be supervised by a high-ranking mentor. Alyosha (or Al for short) is the one picked to be his mentor.

Axl had expected his mentor to be a big, scary, judgemental person, but Al is none of those. Instead, he's an easy-going and gentle big brother figure for him, which helped Axl cope with not only the loss of Red Alert, but also the difficulties of starting all over again.

Here are some of the associated pictures: